April 10 near College Station
I am asked often these days "How are you doing?"
That is hard to answer honestly because minute by minute my emotions and thoughts change.
Sometimes, things are just moving forward, the way life forces me to with 5 other children to homeschool, a husband, and a home to care for and I am doing well. Then sometimes grief overwhelms me like freight train, usually at night when all is quiet...too quiet.
Tonight my heart is broken, all over again, at the emptiness of my arms. The little face i stared at every minute i was awake for 3 months seems like a distant memory and that scares me. Looking at Caroline's pictures bring the memories flooding back quickly but it hurts so much to not hold her again and it makes me miss her even more. I can almost feel her soft skin and smell her hair...and even trace the swirls on the top of her head. But my arms are still empty and my mama heart hurts unbearably in these moments.
I am so thankful for the time God gave us with her but i mourn the emptiness she left behind. I am also thankful for a loving and gracious God who gently comforts me when i can't take any more. I have hope for the day that I will see her again and that's what makes me move forward.
Life is fragile. Hug your children tightly. Never let a day pass that you don't tell them you love them and what a blessing they are to you. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Have no regrets.
- Cristiana Cole I send to you my deepest love. May angels fly to your aid tonight. Thank you for your wisdom and for your grief that transforms darkness to light and breaths new life into the world. God is with you both.April 10 at 1:36am via mobile · Like · 1
- Allison Ridgway Moss Gabi, I am still praying for you. It is now for peace in your heart. I absolutely can't imagine what you are going through. I admire your faith and I have gotten so much out of all your posts over the past few months. I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family.April 10 at 8:36am via mobile · Like
- Tracy Brattin Gerdes Continued prayers for you Gabi. Much much love....April 10 at 9:18am via mobile · Like
- Shauna Cox Thanks for being so honest. I'm praying daily for you and your family.April 10 at 11:12am via mobile · Like
- Dede Toothaker Wolf I am continuing to pray for you & your family. As well as lots of love and hugs sent your way. Being able to feel the way you do as well as to verbalize it is so important. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There is no time table that fits everyone's grief. If there is anything I have learned from my professional background that is it.April 10 at 8:25pm via mobile · Like
- Karmen McGee I agree! Our children are precious gifts from God. You are such an inspiration to me in the way that you seize the day and make memories with your children. Your children will have good memories of Caroline because you rejoiced in her life. I know that you miss her terribly. You and your family are in our prayers.
- Jennifer Walton Halpenny How we wish we could bear this for you Gabrielle! But please know that God loves you & Kenneth @ your family so much. Am praying and please remember it will get better - day by day.
We love you, Aunt Jenny & Uncle RobertApril 11 at 4:50pm via mobile · Like
- Nena Gottfried Wiley Ahh Gabi - you touched our hearts and we mourn and weep with you...your tears are liquid love.April 12 at 10:59am via mobile · Like
- Becky Schafer Gabi, I was just thinking about you and praying for your empty arms, because I know all too well what that feels like. My heart aches for you and I hope to get together with you soon.
- Lynsey Atkinson Kramer Gabi, this was so special to read. My heart aches and hurts for you. Thank you for the sweet reminder that each day is a gift. Love you.April 29 at 10:19pm via mobile · Like
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