Monday, March 19, 2012

Who Are You {In the Lord}?

I tend to write posts about how we "do" things here at the Davis household; like it is a permanent, works every time kind of thing for us.  I'm not wanting to make people change to be like me, just offering suggestions of how we do things.  But the Lord has shown me something very important!

Since last June, when i first learned about the tumor in my ear and the surgery that followed to remove it, the Lord has strengthened my faith and changed me (and my family) so many ways.  One very important thing I learned was that I really needed to understand fully who I am in the Lord and who He has my family to be

God has such a different plan for each and every person/family that it is impossible to try to replicate what another person does.  When we do try in our own strength to do this, what is produced is a fake sort of facade; a front that others see, but is not who we truly are.   The tension and heartache produced when you try to be something other than who you are can be overwhelming and devastating to yourself and all of the relationships you are involved in, including your walk with the Lord, your spouse, your children, and even friends/family.  We, as women, tend to end up feeling like failures and overwhelmed when we try to be like someone else.  I am not saying that we can't glean ideas and suggestions from others, but what it really boils down to is this: follow the Lord and your husband only and learn to love others where the Lord has them {even when it's different than where He has you}.

This means that every thought or idea you have or want to try should be held off for a time of prayer and seeking the Lord and your husband's counsel.  Every time "I" think something is a good idea, or that "I" would like our family to do things a certain way, it backfires.  I look back over the years and see over and over how my husband has always been right.  When he gave me his opinion and I chose to ignore it, I have had to suffer the consequences.  Likewise, when i listened to him, I  see {sometimes much later} the fruit or blessing that comes from it.  It amazes me that when I do pray and ask my husbands opinion, things fall into line.  The stress of contemplating and agonizing over an idea, is usually gone and forgotten when I just ask first!  Also, by asking your hubbie his thoughts or advice, you are giving him the respect he so desires and needs.  That, in and of itself, is worth it!

Another thing I realized is that at our house, things change on a continual basis.  Just when i think we have a pattern down, things change again, and again!  Some seasons are better than others so this usually dictates how things are done in our household.

For example, I have posted before that we were on a TV diet.  What i have come to see is that we go through phases, such as the birth of a baby or 1st trimester of pregnancy, or when a toddler is very active and needs to be distracted while the others are homeschooling, where we do watch more TV at these times.  Yet, when things are going smoothly, we watch very little. 

Another example is cloth diapers.  Although I love cloth diapers, the truth is that I don't use them on a newborn under about a month, and after the baby starts eating solids and their poop changes {I ditch the cloth and go to disposables}.  Our untreated well water causes a horrible ammonia stink and leaking in the diapers after solid poop starts, which makes cloth diapers unusable at our house so we jump back on the 'sposie train.

Or how about baby spacing.  I now realize that we (my hubbie and I) do not have a set pattern for baby spacing {even though I "thought" we did}.  It really is on a month-to-month basis for us (after cycles resume usually around 14+ months).  There are months that DH says  he would like to wait a while so we prevent in some form or another and other times when he says whatever happens will happen.  Over all, I realize that it isn't up to me as to how we will space our babies, but rather between my husband and the Lord.  I just need to be willing and compliant to whatever he feels is best for us and let go of trying to control it.  I am currently learning that just as we think we know what the Lord wants (ie not preventing or actually trying to conceive), He shows us He has a different plan.  The general thought seems to be that if you let the Lord control the spacing, you will be having babies very close together.  It's as if we box God into that thought, but in reality, He may have for some to have babies close together and others to be further apart or not at all.  Each family's quiver is going to be a different number. Just because "we" decide that it's time to have another baby, does not mean that it's the Lord will!  Truly letting the Lord control your baby spacing means being content with whatever He gives you, pregnancy or not.

I also understand better now that the Lord really is the only one who can meet our needs.  For some it's love, others, insecurities or past hurts/abuse, or maybe even emotional needs.  He truly loves each one of us so much more than any human ever can; He loves us unconditionally!  Our husbands, our children, and our friends will never be able to love us (or us them) as perfectly, as unconditionally as Christ and will fail over and over if we solely look to them to fill that need in our lives.  Turn your eyes and your heart to hear the Lord.  His ways will never fail!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject!  Who are you in the Lord?.

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