I have used this post title before to announce a new pregnancy. I wish that is what i was doing today. Unfortunately, this is a new chapter of my life, one i have never even entertained thoughts of and definitely not a pleasant one.
About a month ago, my ENT discovered i had a Cholesteatoma in my left ear. This is benign tumor growing in the middle ear on the hearing bone. As it grows, it eats away the hearing bone causing hearing loss. If left alone, it continues growing while destroying all hearing and eventually growing into the brain, causing death. That's it in a nutshell. There is a proceedure a surgeon does called a Tympanomastoidectomy (I think??) where they go in behind the ear, drill a microscopic hole through the skull, and clean out the tumor. They can add prosthetic pieces where damage has occured. Then they take a skin graft from behind the ear to create a new tympanic membrane (eardrum-mine is destroyed). Facial paralysis is the biggest concern as they are working right along that nerve. It is about a 2.5 hour day-surgery under full anesthetic. I will not be able to nurse Nathan for 24-48 hours : ( which will probably be the hardest thing for me.
So...neither option sounds good to me. I sought out natural health options and am currently undergoing cranio and body massage work while combining homeopathy, herbs, and essential oils to treat specific issues in my body. But what i have come down to, is that my husband has been adament from the beginning that i needed to have the surgery, and i realize now that i need to follow his leadership and trust him and the Lord with this decision. I am still doing the other treatments in preparation for the surgery.
As of now, my surgery is scheduled for Friday, August 12th at 1pm. The Lord has shown me so much through all of this, and i know that His will will be done. I do not know what that will look like, and i will be honest that it scares me, but i am daily, minute by minute having to choose to trust Him with my life. After all, our lives are not our own anyway, nor are we guaranteed tomorrow. I am doing my best to live each moment as if it were my last, just in case. We all should!
Please pray for us.