What is your Legacy?

Funny enough (for where i am right now), i ran across the following post i wrote almost 3 years ago. The pics are older but i wanted to include the song that goes with the words-i hope it still plays.  Sometimes as i go back and reread what i've written in the past, i can't believe that what the Lord showed me back then, he's had to teach me all over again.  This is where he has me right now, showing me what my legacy will be if i continue down the path i'm on. 

 

Now i've shared before that revealing faults is not easy for me, but the Lord prompts me to share as part of the healing process.  The path i've been on is one full of negative, unloving, hurtful, annoyed, harsh, and frustrated words towards those that i love the most.  Instead of them getting the best of me, they have gotten the left-over worst of me through my words and attitude.  I couldn't figure out why my children were talking so ugly to each other and bickering so much.  I kept trying to correct them, over and over in vain. 

 

Ahh....but that was the problem.  It wasn't them, it was me.  I was tearing my own flesh and blood down with my hands (figuratively speaking~my words).  I was teaching them to talk sweetly and be kind to others and love them even if they didn't feel like it, but i wasn't being a good example to them.  I was being a hypocrite, expecting something of them, while i did whatever i pleased while justifying it.  It wasn't intentional, just a slow creeping in of anger and annoyance that kept growing.  A little shortness here and a little snappiness there and before i knew it my sweet son had to point out to me that i talk so sweetly around others but revert back to the shortness when we get home.  Ouch!  At first pride welled up in me.  I wasn't really that bad and told him so.  But the Lord kept tugging at my heart until i could admit that he was right. I finally realized that if i continued down this path i was going to reap a legacy of destruction and pain for my family. I know that's not what i want, i even wrote about it 3 years ago. 

So why am i here again? 

The answer is pride.  I keep trying to fix things on my own, without even realizing that's what i'm doing, i do all i can in my own strength to try to fix my sin.  But the more i try the worse i do. I wanted so badly to be humble and quiet and meek and peaceful and gentle, yet the more i tried in my flesh, the worse i did. The Lord was just waiting....and waiting for me to finally fall on my face in humbleness and admit my sin for what it was...stinky, ugly, destructive sin!

 

I love it when he gives me just the right verse to strip me down and open my eyes to the truth.  

 

2 Chronicles 7:14 says:

 

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

 

Just rereading this verse brings me to tears.  The opposite of humbleness is pridefulness.  All i needed to do was humble myself and seek his face and turn from my sin.  It was that simple.  My heart was not humble...but now it is.  My ways were wicked...but now they are pure.  I sought his face...and i found it and it is so beautiful!  I prayed from the depths of my heart...and he heard me...and forgave me even though i didn't deserve it.  And i know that he promises to heal my land~ my family that is so dear to me.  How gracious he is!  I messed up badly, but know he will redeem the time that has been lost and wasted. 

 

I am not the same person i was yesterday.  I can't explain the peacefulness that has come over me.  It's not me, thank the Lord, it is the Holy Spirit living and working and talking through me.  I don't ever want to see the person i was before again or for my children to remember that person.  I know now what the Lord expects of me and i can't go back, for now i know what that wicked way looks like.  I will choose to humble myself before the Lord and my family and serve them with a humble heart.  I will choose joy.  I will choose to be slow to anger.  I will choose to love my children even when they haven't earned it.  I will choose to pour my self into them even when i don't feel like it. 

 

Am i perfect? No!  Will i mess up again? Yes, but i pray the Lord will keep this verse fervently before my eyes every day so that when i start to slip up and yell or talk harshly to them, his still small voice will remind me to be humble and gentle and loving and merciful.

 

I know this is long, but i wanted to include the original post written 3 years ago, just as a reminder of why the legacy we leave is important.  May the Lord bless you all!  Seek him and he will show you his beautiful, tender, loving face.

 

October 11, 2008

What is the legacy you will leave? What will people remember about you?

I think about this often, especially when i think about my husband and children.

Will my husband remember a wife that loved and cared for him? Will he see a picture of me as the young, beautiful (to him) wife of his youth? Will he remember the way i loved, nurtured, and cared for his children? Will he remember me as a keeper at home and a fruitful vine throughout his house? Will I be remembered as his best friend and help meet?

What will my children remember about their mother? Did I love them, teach them, and comfort them enough? Will they remember all the hugs and kisses and not all the swats? Will they remember me always being there for them and sacrificing myself just as Jesus did? Will the image in their minds be one of a femine woman who loved the Lord, her husband, and her children? Will their overall memory of me be that i was a picture to them of how God loves them and cares for them?



All of these things are good and important and ones that I do hope they remember them about me. But, more than anything else, I pray that they remember that I loved and served the Lord with all of my heart. That I read my Bible daily and was always growing and learning how to be a better wife and mother. That I imparted to them the love of their Heavenly Father that is better than any material thing on this earth. That He will always be there for them, even when I am long gone.

I am not perfect. I make mistakes and sin just like everyone else. I do not claim to have this life all figured out. I just take it one day at a time and constantly ask the Lord to guide me and help my though each day. I pray for peace and wisdom many times a day just so i can get through it. But that's it, I can't get through it by myself, I have to surrender my plans to the Lord. Whenever i try to do anything in my own strength, I fail and mess up. He is the only reason I can be the wife and mother I hope to be. He is the reason why I am here today.

Everyday we have a choice to be one thing or another in the eyes of those watching us. I pray, with God's help, that I will be remembered by all of the right side words below. We all have the same choices to make. Will we show ourselves to be:

Selfish or selfless?

Material or eternal?

Greedy or giving?

Faithless or faithful?

Arrogent or humble?

Fearful or peaceful?

Angry or joyful?

Hateful or loving?

Rushed or patient?

Rough or gentle?

What will your legacy be?????
_____________________________________________

This song has captured the essence of what I want my legacy to be. Nothing earthly, that moths and rust destroy, but that I blessed Jesus's name unapologetically!

I hope you can hear the song with the slide show above. Here are the words in case you can't!

Grace and Peace to you from God our Father!
*********************************************
Legacy by Nichole Nordeman




I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

And I enjoy an accolade like the rest

And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery

Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's

That used to be the best at such and such

It wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights

We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"

But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides

The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile

To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy

It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile

Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

Not well-traveled, not well-read

Not well-to-do, or well-bred

Just want to hear instead

Well done, good and faithful one

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me